January Reset for Young Kids: Simple Routines That Build Executive Function (Without Battles)
- kswellman3
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
When families hear “executive function,” they often picture middle schoolers and homework. But executive function doesn’t begin in middle school. It begins when your four-year-old tries to remember their shoes. When your five-year-old melts down over brushing teeth. When your six-year-old forgets their folder again. When your child can’t shift from play to bedtime without a battle. That’s not bad behavior. That’s executive function development in real time. And January is a perfect time to reset—because young kids don’t need a new system. They need a simpler one.
A Story We See in Week 4
A parent told us:
“Mornings are chaos. It’s like my child forgets everything we do every single day.”
They had tried everything:
reminders
consequences
faster routines
“we’re going to be late!” urgency
even sticker charts… that lasted two days
And their child? They weren’t defiant.
They were overloaded.
Their brain couldn’t hold:
what comes first
what comes next
what the plan is
and what to do when they feel rushed
So instead of adding more pressure…
We made the routine smaller. We made the system visible. And we changed the language.
That’s when the battles started to fade.
The Week 4 Reset: Self-Monitoring for Littles
Self-monitoring is one of the most important executive function skills.
It’s the ability to notice:
“What am I supposed to be doing?”
“Did I do it?”
“What comes next?”
“What do I do if I forget?”
Young children don’t automatically have that skill. They build it through predictable routines + visuals + practice, not lectures.
So our Week 4 reset is built around one rule:
Make it visible. Make it tiny. Make it repeatable.
Step 1: Pick ONE Routine (Not the Whole Day)
The biggest mistake parents make is trying to fix everything at once: morning routine, bedtime routine, school routine, homework routine…
For young kids, that’s too much.
Pick one routine only. The smallest one that causes the biggest stress.
Examples:
Shoes + backpack
Toothbrush
Pajamas into hamper
Morning bathroom routine
“Transition to the car” routine
When you try to change everything, kids feel pressured and parents feel defeated.
When you change one routine, kids can succeed.
Step 2: Use Sticker Tracking the Right Way
Sticker tracking is not bribery.
When it’s done correctly, it teaches: ✅ awareness ✅ repetition ✅ progress ✅ “I can try again”
The key is: keep it SIMPLE.
One routine only
One sticker per day
One checkmark or sticker when it’s done
Celebrate the repetition, not perfection
What sticker tracking really trains is self-monitoring:
“I did it. I can see that I did it.” That’s executive function.
Step 3: Add a Visual (Because Working Memory is Still Growing)
Young kids forget because their working memory is still developing.
So instead of repeating verbal reminders, we make the routine visible.
Examples:
simple picture strip (2–4 steps)
3 icons taped by the door
“shoe → backpack → car” visual
bedtime picture flow
When kids can see the steps, their brains don’t have to hold the steps.
Less mental load = less meltdown.
Step 4: Use “Try Again” Language (This is the Mental Health Piece)
Here’s what kids learn from repeated criticism:
“I’m always wrong.”
“I can’t do it.”
“I mess everything up.”
That creates shame and resistance.
Instead, we use language that builds regulation and resilience:
Try Again Language
“That didn’t work yet.”
“Your brain is still learning.”
“Let’s reset.”
“We’ll shrink it and try again.”
“Show me the first step.”
Kids don’t need pressure to grow. They need safety + repetition.
When Things Fall Apart: The Regulation Reset
This is where we use your required throughline:
Name → Narrow → Return (kid version)
NAME: “Your body is upset.” / “Your brain feels stuck.”
NARROW: “What’s one step?”
RETURN: breathe / squeeze hands / stomp feet / sip water
Then do the first step. Because young children can’t learn skills in meltdown mode.
The Routine Throughline: Shrink → Start → Sustain
For littles, this becomes:
Shrink → Start → Sustain (kid version)
Shrink: fewer steps
Start: do the first step
Sustain: repeat daily with the same cue
Consistency is what builds executive function—not intensity.
This Week’s Week 4 Reset Plan (Do Only This)
If you want your child to grow skills without daily battles, do this:
Choose ONE routine to reset
Make a 2–4 step visual
Use sticker tracking for 7 days
Use try-again language (no shame)
If they melt down: regulate first, then restart
That’s it. Small systems build big skills.
Reset Tools:
Download the Semester Reset One-Pager and the Weekly Review Workflow tools.
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