5 Everyday Signs Your Child Is Struggling with Executive Function (and How You Can Help)

At TGlearn, we know how frustrating it can be to see your child try their best—yet still forget homework, lose focus at practice, or melt down over a change in plans.

These aren’t signs of laziness or lack of care. They’re often clues that your child is struggling with executive function—the brain’s “control center” that helps with organization, focus, planning, and self-regulation.

Understanding these signs is the first step toward helping your child feel confident and capable in daily life. Let’s explore five common indicators—and what they look like in real-world moments.

1. They’re Always Forgetting Things or Losing Track of Time

Everyday examples:

•  At home: They forget their lunch or leave their homework folder on the table.

•  At school: They can’t recall due dates or misplace assignments.

•  In sports: They show up without their cleats or forget game times.

Why it happens: Executive function relies on working memory and organization. Kids often juggle more steps in their heads than they can manage.

How to help:

•  Use visual checklists (“What’s in my backpack?”).

•  Establish consistent routines for mornings and evenings.

•  Designate a single “home base” for essentials and a "homework spot" 

• Praise effort—“You remembered your binder today!”—to build confidence.

2. They Struggle to Get Started (or Keep Going)

Everyday examples:

•  Stares at a messy room, unsure where to begin cleaning.

•  Takes forever to start writing an essay.

•  Loses interest halfway through an art project or practice.

Why it happens: Kids with executive challenges often feel overwhelmed by large or unclear tasks.

How to help:

• Break tasks into small, concrete steps.

•  Use the “2-minute rule” to encourage momentum.

• Create structure (“Homework starts after snack”).

•  Sit with them to co-start tough tasks, then step back gradually.

Starting small helps kids believe: “I can do this.”

3. They Have Big Feelings When Things Don’t Go as Planned

Everyday examples:

•  Melts down when plans change unexpectedly.

•  Gets upset over surprise quizzes.

•  Struggles to recover after a missed play.

Why it happens: Emotional regulation—an executive skill—helps us adapt and calm down. When it’s still developing, small setbacks can feel overwhelming.

How to help:

• Acknowledge feelings first (“That was disappointing”).

•  Practice calm-down tools (deep breathing, movement breaks, 54321 grounding break, drink water, etc.).

• Give transition warnings (“Five minutes until we clean up”).

• Reinforce recovery: “You got upset, but you calmed down and finished—amazing job.”

4. They Can’t Seem to Prioritize or Manage Time

Everyday examples:

•  Spends an hour coloring instead of packing for a trip.

•  Starts a project the night before it’s due.

•  Double-books plans or forgets a commitment.

Why it happens: Prioritization and time management are learned, not innate—and they take years to mature.

How to help:

• Use color-coded or numbered to-do lists (red = urgent, yellow = soon).

• Backward-plan big tasks, use a paper planner that has month and week view: “If it’s due Friday, what should be done by Wednesday?”

• Practice estimating vs. actual time.

• Simplify choices: “Which should you do first—math or reading?”

These tools help time feel concrete instead of abstract.

5. Their Performance Is Inconsistent — Great One Day, Scattered the Next

Everyday examples:

•  Does chores independently one day, then forgets the next.

•  Turns in a project early but forgets homework the next morning.

•  Focuses during one practice but drifts off in another.

Why it happens: Executive skills fluctuate with energy, emotion, and environment. Inconsistency is normal—but can be frustrating.

How to help:

• Look for patterns: “You focus better before dinner.”

• Keep routines consistent to reduce mental load.

• Track wins visually with stickers or charts.

• Model compassion: “Everyone has off days—let’s try again tomorrow.”

Supporting Growth, Not Perfection

Executive function challenges aren’t a reflection of willpower—they’re signs that a child’s brain is still learning how to plan, focus, and self-manage. Nobody is perfect in this area, not even adults; however, these skills need ot be taught and the elementary and adolescent years are a crucial time to learn them. 

As parents, our role is to coach, not criticize. Ask:

“What skill is my child missing right now—and how can I help them build it?”

When you shift from frustration to skill-building and progress focus, your child learns not just how to succeed in school, but how to manage life with resilience and self-awareness. As parents, we may be realizing that we have some weaknesses in the area of EF too. Modeling working on improving our own EF skills is a great way for kids to learn and grow. 

At TGlearn, we believe every child can strengthen executive function with structure, empathy, and small, consistent wins.

Quick Reference for Parents

Further Reading

• Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson & Richard Guare

• TGlearn Blog: Building Routines That Stick (coming soon!)