Making New Habits Is the New Breaking Bad Habits

When we hear the word 'habit', we immediately associate it with the word ‘bad’. Whether it's quitting smoking, avoiding fast food, or participating in dry January, conversations surrounding habits usually revolve around breaking them. While learning to break bad habit is an important skill, this limited perspective lends itself to feelings of guilt, shame, and defeat. Often, we are so focused on breaking our ‘bad habits’ that we neglect the attention and pride our healthy habits deserve.

So, what is a habit?

A habit is an unconscious drive to perform a specific activity or series of activities due to past reinforcement from repetitive behavior and subsequent neurochemicals. It is imperative to note that habits are not ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in nature—they can vary from brushing your teeth every night to gambling four times a week.

Moreover, our habits in no way represent who we are as people. A woman who has a bad habit of smoking cigarettes when she drives is not a bad person and a man who has a healthy habit of exercising daily is not a good person. Habits are simply the result of repeated behaviors and their reinforcing neurochemicals. To break it down further, habits are the result of three R’s: reminder, repetition, and reward.

How do I form new, healthy habits?

Well, it’s simple. The only difference between forming bad and good habits is awareness. The process for forming bad and good habits is identical. The only difference is that we often form good habits intentionally and bad habits accidentally. Once we understand exactly how habits are formed, we can seize the system for ourselves and use it for good. This awareness not only aids us in forming good habits, but can help us avoid forming new, bad habits in the future.

So, now we know the process for forming good and bad habits is essentially the same. Let’s break it down even more.

What are the three R’s of habits and why do they matter?

Unlike the three R’s of recycling, the three R’s of habits are consecutive in nature. This means reward cannot come before repetition, and repetition cannot come before reminder. However, they are cyclical. Let’s overview each R of habits in their natural order.

Reminders

Habits are initially formed by reminders, also known as cues. A reminder, or cue, prompts our brains to perform or engage in a specific activity. The brain prompts us after these reminders in order to experience a reward following the action. We will delve into this more in the reward section. This neural prompting causes us to unconsciously seek out that action or activity and repeat it every time we are reminded.

Reminders can be virtually anything. For example, a man who quit smoking a year ago could see a lighter and suddenly feel the need to smoke a cigarette. This means the lighter served as a reminder. However, reminders can also be intentional. We can use systems like alarms, post-it notes, and other people to remind us to perform an action or activity we want to become habitual. In this case, a woman who wants to start reading a chapter from a novel every night before bed could place a sticky note on her bedroom door to remind her when she enters the room.

Eventually, when the action becomes a habit, reminders will become unconscious and aids like alarms and sticky-notes will become unnecessary.

Repetition

Repetition is the most intuitive of the three R’s. Most habits need to be repeated daily for two months, or sixty days, before they become unconscious and automatic.

Reward

While repetition is the simplest of the three R’s, reward is the most convoluted. However, to put it as simply as possible: rewards are what make the habit stick. For bad habits, the reward is often the neurochemical released from the action itself. For example, when we consume sugary, fatty foods, our brains release a neurochemical known as dopamine. Dopamine fills us with feelings of satisfaction, motivation, and pleasure.

However, when it comes to good habits, things can get a bit more complicated. Often, the actions we take when forming a good habit, like not speeding, do not release neurochemicals like dopamine to make them enjoyable and “stick”. This means we must use an alternate action to fulfill the reward aspect and reinforce the habit.

After completing the desired action, you should do something small to reward yourself so your brain still produces those oh-so-desirable neurochemicals that make you feel motivated and fulfilled. My favorite rewards for forming new, positive habits are gum, mints, and small candies. These small rewards are easy to keep on hand, cheap, and effective. However, it is important to note that the reward should always be something that you enjoy.

So, you’re saying I shouldn’t try to break my bad habits?

Of course not. We simply recommend a flip in perspective to reduce feelings of shame and guilt, as well as to increase feelings of accomplishment and self-confidence. We are our least successful when we are weighed down by negative emotions like shame and defeat. This method for forming new, good habits can be used to avoid future bad habits, as well as aid in slowly overcoming existing bad habits.

This can be accomplished by thinking of the bad habit as a giant cookie. Rather than breaking the bad habit in one painful bite, this method recommends taking small, filling bites over time. For example, rather than setting the goal to quit smoking altogether, I recommend beginning a new habit of not smoking in the car. When you are successful in not smoking in the car, you reward yourself. After just two months of this system, not smoking in the car will be an automatic, habitual behavior. Next, you can set the goal of not smoking before work. You continue taking these small bites of the cookie until nothing is left. Now, rather than being left with a stomach ache, you are left feeling satisfied.

This system of habits is especially beneficial for children and teens. Rather than making them feel like a bad person overwhelmed with breaking an automatic behavior, this system leaves them feeling accomplished, motivated, and self-confident.

Want more information? Check out these resources:

https://www.simplypsychology.org

https://flsplus.medium.com/

By: Regan Taylor, Executive Function Tutor