Reset , Stop the COVID Slide

COVID impacts everyone, regardless of your age. For school age children the impact is greater - their growth, in so many ways, is stunted. We can take control of this and make it a time to learn skills for coping, problem- solving, persevering, strategizing, and being resilient.

Children need to see they are progressing, achieving, learning, gaining more responsibilities and freedoms - all of this is so hard to realize when all we are told no, it is not safe. It is clear we are creating anxious children and depression is rising at rapid rates.

There are things our children can learn during this unprecedented time in order to thrive in a new world that this unspeakable virus will make us adopt for years to come. When our children see we are taking control, setting boundaries, creating routines, and having a schedule they will calm, be less anxious, and more productive. It can be challenging to institute a reset within the household but, wow, the pay offs are huge and lifelong!

There are at least 10 things we can immediately do to reset; they can be done within the home and are not dependent on the schools or government mandates. Our children need the reset so they can grow up to be productive, responsible, healthy citizens.

The 10 things you can do to RESET:

1. Eat a meal together as a family at least one time per day around a table, away from TV and screen devices. This is an empowering time that lasts a lifetime! More bonding occurs amongst families during routine dinner time than any other time of the day, week, or vacation.

a. Have each family identify a positive thing, activity, feeling, etc. that has an impact on them. It does not matter how small or big. It is essential to know positives are still happening and we may have to look for them. This teaches resiliency and optimism and creates an underlying motivation and ambition to do.

b. Ask open ended questions, such as what are one's favorites, wishes, dreams and what do they dislike about the time. Acknowledge their hardship and then ask what can be done to combat the hardship or feeling- how can he, she, or we as a family do something about it.

c. Open conversation regarding values, faith, etc. Ask your children what they think YOU really value or find important or what do they find important

2. Have a weekday routine and a more lax weekend routine to include:

a. Waking up times

b. Morning hygiene routines: bathing, dressing, making bed, eating, etc.

i. It is essential to get out of one's PJ's and exercise wear and dress, be clean- this gives a sense of self-worth, self-control and meaning.

ii. Make bed, tidy one's room gives a sense of being organized and gives one control over something that is theirs, minimizes chaos, enables one to process and start problem-solving

3. Chores: yes, daily chores are essential for feeling like one is contributing to the family, gives sense of worth and value.

a. Household cleaning and laundry

b. Cooking

c. Watering plants

d. Care for pet

e. Outside home care

4. Create a learning space: Get out of the bedrooms- those that sleep, eat, study, socialize, learn in their bedrooms are much more likely to have sleep issues, overeat or under eat, spend way too much time on social media, become depressed and spiral continues downward. We all know we are meant to be relational, active, investigative, engaging but COVID wiped those knowns from us and replaced them with fears and isolation.

a. Study/learn/schooling in a set place of the house that one creates for this use only

b. Bedroom is the sanctuary - you sleep, pray, meditate, relax in this space. When you start adding the other activities on a routine basis your brain becomes confused on what is supposed to happen in this place -is one supposed to be learning or sleeping?

5. Create set time for academic tasks: on-line learning, homework, reading

6. Limit screen time of any and all devices. Yes, remember back prior to COVID, Pediatricians and Ophthalmologists raised awareness how detrimental being on screens are for our eyes, for processing information, for mental health for physical health? It still applies today; those facts have not changed.

a. Set boundaries for being on a screen device

i. Academics first priority

ii. Video gaming is the last priority - youth using online gaming for social contact seems like a viable outlet but for many it has come to serve as petri dish or platform for expressing discontent, emotional stressors, vast amount of misinformation and ideologies that push the extremes. This may seem good for children to have a place to vent but many, many children are not mature enough to know how to process the information or be able to separate from it to know their situation is different. For many they adopt the thoughts and feelings they are hearing causing more of depressive spiral.

7. Socializing:

a. Do a throwback and actually physically call a friend instead of texting or facetiming.

b. Get out of the house and walk, walk anywhere- let the children see there are people out and living.

c. Create groups you feel can b for families and friends to engage and socialize on weekly basis

8. Adopt a hobby: Have your child pick something new to learn that can be shared with others

a. Crafts

b. Cooking

c. Games

9. Sleep hygiene

a. Create a routine for going to bed that has a finite ‘lights out’ time.

i. Write the routine on the bathroom mirror along with "funnies" or words of encouragement

b. Remove screens from room- do not use phone as an alarm clock, get an alarm clock and take phones out of room

c. No, falling asleep to the television; use sound machine instead

10. Fellowship Together: Children feel a sense of security when they have a spiritual faith. Being able to pray for their worries gives them an outlet to share their most inner feelings and fears. Being able to hear and read that their forefathers endured many hardships while also experiencing many joys gives children hope.

a. Attend or watch services representing one’s faith: Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, etc.

b. Talk as a family to share one’s beliefs

c. Empower your children to choose who they want to be.

Everyone’s situation is different, if you would like to talk with a consultant about your family’s needs contact us.